Today was, again, another duty day. Had to wake up early so that I could make it on time. And yes, you're right, I haven't woken up early. And yes again! I hadn't made it on time. (insert sarcastic laugh) 7am was the start of the shift and I arrived around 7:15. oh well.

     Anyway, enough about me and my poor time management skills. Today during our shift, out of nowhere, Santa Claus gave us a visit! yaaaaay! I was so shocked to be honest. It's was first time seeing one in a hospital. I was dumbfounded sitting in this chair while holding open an instantly forgotten chart. And just when I was staring at him, he handed out lollipops for everyone and that's when I suddenly got excited! We took some pictures with him. Haha. Then he went around all the patients' rooms to hand out candies and made everyone put up that big hearty holidays smile.


Here in this picture right here is Santa Claus together with one of the hospital's staff. Look that big red thing..makes you wanna give him a big hug, right??? hahah. I dunno, for me, there's just something about all the Christmas spirit that makes me warm and fuzzy inside. :) 

Regression much?


And this here is my trusty partner. It's been pouring the last couple of days. Rain or shine, the duty must go on! Well, actually here we were getting ready to go home and that's my partner all ready to drive us in her motorcycle. Doesn't she look cute? :D 

I got home with my butt all wet. :P





Today, one of my good friends came at my place. I was really worked up on what to serve her for snacks. The last time we were together, I served her instant pancit canton. So I thought to myself, I wouldn't want to serve her that again. So i went to the supermarket and tried to find something else to eat...and guess what I bought? Noooo, it wasn't instant pancit canton but instead,(drumroll please) it was instant palabok and instant baked mac...haha! Then I thought to myself: is it really like this these days? Almost everything is instant. There's not much healthy things up on the shelves anymore. Instant stuffs aren't good for the health, I know everyone knows that but why is the number of instant things is still increasing? Nowadays, EVERYTHING IS INSTANT. Can we also have INSTANT SUCCESS and BOYFRIEND? But like I said, instant things, aren't healthy for you.
It's on days like this that I feel the stillness: that I'm here and how everything else is at a distance. But I don't blame it all on the weather, just most of it.It's been like this for a couple of days now and believe me, I haven't done anything productive since it started. At first it was okay, then I got restless and eventually I'm so bummed out. 3 days and I hope I don't have to count anymore.

I keep on putting in off on the weather until I realized that the real reason for all these is that I'm just lonely. Well, maybe a little left out. Seeing people advance forward, and me just staying in place can be a bit scary. It leaves you a question which might go like: "where am I supposed to go now?". But then I know where I'm going, I know what I want and that maybe the better question is, "how am gonna start?" Then, you don't know the answer. And that's how it became scary.

Now, I can't wait for the sun to shine again. But even if it won't, I will. :)

it's been a long time since i've visited here once again. And what else to do than to check what I've left behind. And so I read some of my old blogs. And boy I just laughed at every single one of it. I couldn't believe I wrote such crap. hahahah! I mean most of them are so serious, dammit! But please understand, I'm one of those writers who gets inspired when I'm at my lowest. Kinda like Edgar Allan Poe. He couldn't write good verses if he wasn't drunk. Of course, I don't drink. I just get down in the dumps sometimes and that's when ideas come to my head. :) Anyway, reading my old blogs were both nostalgic and weird. hahah. hopefully I'll be more religious posting stuffs again. so ta-ta for now :)
gaaaah. i'm feeling this stupid feeling again. i feel down, betrayed or something. i feel that you don't like me anymore and maybe there's already someone else for you... :( i don't know because i can't even tell what you're thinking already. maybe, just maybe, you don't want to be with me but please, if that's the case, please just tell me. if it's not then please let me feel it. coz it's like i'm drowning in a sea of question. like i said, we are two worlds too apart. it's like you don't even want to be here, like being here is a suffering for you, which can only mean that this place, with my presence is not so much but a nothing for you. i hope i'll have the courage to tell you all these but i'm much hoping that you just tell me without me asking you to, that way, it'll all make sense...let's not run into circles, i can't do that anymore...
I was having another dream last night. I don't know if it was good or bad coz when i woke up, damn, my body's hurting and it feels as though i never slept. tsk. Anyway i dreamt about being pressured into a job that i don't even like then the scenario changed, I was at home with kenneth and we were having dinner, i guess, and my parents keep on passing by and butting in our conversation. Then we were at his house and we were also eating dinner and we were being watched like a hawk... ugh. I don't know why i had these dreams but they sure are tiring. 

A hole.



suddenly i feel like a hole's been dug in my heart. I'm having these days again when I feel something weird in my chest and I'm not so sure what the reason behind is. Although there is one thing I know I want to happen. I just wish we'd spend some time together again. Just the two us, before he leaves again. I dunno if that'll happen but i'd be happy if it does. Just one last time.
well, today i saw that one of my lecturer's pictures. and it had one of him playing the violin. The moment i saw that, my heart suddenly started to race o_O waaah! i was like, "huwaaaaaat??? he plays the violin???" i haven't liked him that much before but now, uhh, i'm not so sure ^_^ hehe, i want to see a video to make me believe. although i don't know what will happen after i finally hear him play it so awesomely... xD
Today was another day. But I got out of my usual activities - I decided to go with Kiezylyn at Bulusan for the fiesta! wooohoooo! although it was raining, i had a lot of fun. First of all, it gave me the chance to go out of town. Second, I was able to meet up with Jill and Giobbi(and eat at her house). And third, I got to explore a new place (coz I rarely able to). 

I enjoyed this day although something got to me. I went out of town to temporarily forget stuff from here but then again it all just keep on hunting me. I keep hearing his name ALL DAY LONG. Seriously, I don't know what to do anymore. I don't even know what it means anymore. gah. Do i have to keep hearing his name all day? does your name have to be everywhere now? sigh. but nonetheless, i still enjoyed this day ^___^ I was so happy...really, I was... I hope to do this again soon... :)
Last night, i was all alone surfing the net...and out of nowhere, i smelled a familiar scent. I'd recognize that smell anywhere. It was his. just when i was taking the aroma it, I suddenly got frightened... WHY WOULD I BE SMELLING IT NOW? AM I HALLUCINATING??? damn. and after that, i ran upstairs and slept it off. weirrrrrrrrrrrd.

And, now, just when i had made plans and was all set. It was always the unexpected times when you came. And I don't know what happened to me but i suddenly got nervous and, well, i think i acted weird. haha. like a stupid girl who doesn't know what to do when her crush is around. tsk. really, i should stop being like this. What's one strange thing was you were meters away from me when, again, i can smell that scent... it's actually freaking me out coz this haven't just happened twice but a lot of times already. gah. I wish we could've chatted though. I can't seem to mutter up a good conversation, and i don't know why, maybe i'm still not used to this. sigh. I wanted to ask you what perfume you use...I also want to have some of those xD.. haha. 

really, does your scent have to be everywhere? coz i'll like that when it happens. :)